it's been awhile since i've been here.
school has started and well, there's assignments and projects to work on.
i'm quite enjoying my new course,
it ain't easy but i guess at the end of the day
it's the passion and satisfaction you get (:
somehow,everything is different now.
i miss my clique in tp.
and school's so different without them ):
but even though i still meetup with them, it just doesn't seem the same.
hopefully things between us won't change massively.
life recently also had it's ups and down.
i'm worried. i hope you'll be alright.
i hope nothing's going to happen to you.
i know you want to be fine too, keep fighting.
tough times don't last, tough people do.
we will have it better, i promise.
praying that i do hear soon.
it's nerve racking not know what's going wrong.
feeling utterly useless not being able to do anything.
i'm working on it now,
so that i'll be able to do something in the future.
but please, if you won't be around,
then, what's the point of being able to do something then?
i have more things to work out.
even more obstacles to cross and problems to face.
sometimes i just feel like giving up.
just putting everything down.
it is heavy, and to the point that i don't feel like going on anymore.
but what will happen then?
i don't want to be known as a loser, someone who gives up.
i don't want to not know what happens everafter.
i don't want to let my mum down.
so, i shall take one step at a time.
and hopefully, one day , i'll see the good of everything that has happened.
EMF - the driving force that drives electrons in a voltaic cell.
the same driving force for humans? what is your EMF?
my inorganic chemistry paper is tmrw, i know i should be studying but yeah, i decided to take a break and maybe do a posting.
i'm dying of understanding all the concepts and calculations. guess i have to work even harder, time to burn the midnight oil tonight ):
it was hard for me to give a definite answer. mainly because my mind is clogged up with too many things and everything is in a clutter. i'm not thinking properly. it's as though things are all jumbled up in a mess and it's impossible to unclutter them all.
sometimes i don't know what to trust, if the things you say are even true.
it's like after a period of time when i'm finally used to not having you around, when normality is without you, you appear and mess everything up again.
do you know how hard is it? i don't thik you'll ever know.
i guess what you said is somewhat true. i'm tired. i'm sick and tired of doing these things that are of no meaning to me, and these are the very things that makes me sort of lose myself. i don't know why i do them, why i keep hanging on.
there won't even be a hint of hesistation if you decide to put down.
but for me? i keep saying that i would. i keep convincing myself to let go. that it's time to start everything all over again.
everything would be alright.i feel i'm so foolish . i very know already and i still decide to go on. it's as if i already know it's a dead end in the distance in front of me, but i still keep heading in that very direction. perhaps hitting the wall would do me some good. waking me up from this trance of some sort.
i guess it's time to head back to my books.
hope the things that are supposed to stay in my mind stays until tomorrow at least.
and those things cluttering my mind would kindly let inorganic chem take priority.
goodluck to all my classmates.
- do not give up. you can fail as many times in life, but you do not really fail until you decide to give up.
keep fighting people *wink .
:)
it's the exam period now and we are all busy mugging.
i hope that all my classmates and i do well.
thoughts have been filled out totally lately.
well, things have not exactly changed much.
and the situation is still about the same.
i don't know what the future holds for us,
but i guess we have no choice but to take a step at a time?
i've been thinking how things would have been different if i've already gotten my diploma. well , maybe it's God's test on me.
life's unfair, yes . but i believe that one day, i will also bask in my own happiness.
one day, when things get better.
sometimes i feel like a lie, a total facade.
i laugh, i joke , i fool around with my friends, but deep down inside, i don't feel good at all . it's hard, when at that moment of happiness , that moment of laughter never lasts. reality is hard. the truth of my life still has to be faced.
friend's are God's gift somehow.
i really wished i had somehow to lean on, someone who would understand and not judge. it's hard to be facing everything alone. when family is not near and friends don't know. i hate that feeling of loneliness, especially haunting whenever i'm alone and my thoughts go wild ):
sometimes i keep trying to get back that moment of happiness, that very moment of laughter, and maybe that's why my friends say my laughter is crazy :)
but somethings when gone, never comes back.
i envy those people with both parents by their sides.
maybe because i have neither parent by my side.
mummy , i miss you. really. so people , cherish your parents.
i see my friends posting on facebook how their parents do so much for them.
like buying them a new phone or just singing them a song on their birthday.
it's never the material things, but it's just heartwarming :)
somehow i wished my family could be like that.
each family has it's own problems, but sometimes i feel funny that quarrels happen over the smallest of things. it's definitely not worth it :x
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i find it so hard to trust now.
it's like i can't seem to differentiate between words of truth and lies.
anyway, ending this post on a positive note .
i shall study harder for the coming exams and do well :)
it's the only way i can somehow do something for the future.
i hope my classmates would too.
<3
hmmm, this week has been quite hectic .
busy baking over at Dru's house today for CCN tomorrow.
brownies and honey flakes .
school's been as usual, lots of catching up to do.
i'm supposed to be doing well this semester.
i will do it !
watch me(:i want to laugh all my unhappiness out.
sometimes, laughter ain't what it seem to be.
it's ironic. because of what i do, whenever i see others laugh,i can't help but wonder if they are truly happy.
but in any case, laughter is truly the best medicine(:
it won't hurt to share a smile, a laugh or two with people around you.
be strong now, because things will get better. it might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever.i guess i was rather pissed today. shouldn't you treat others like how you want to be treated? don't cross the line please . there's seriously a difference in being funny and just being plain mean . you might not realise it but sometimes your words can hurt others deeply. it doesn't pay to be sarcastic and when your words cut . think of how others feel too :X
its been so long since i've last "written" here.
i guess this is an abandoned space now,
no writer, no readers.
good place to start anew,
fresh new stories. thought if deleting my archives,
but oh well. i can't bear to, somehow they seem precious.
the old me, serves as a reminder to the me i am today.
well, i'm back. things are very different now.
it's been few dramatic months and well not everyone knows what happened.
but i guess i should stay postive, i have to stay strong.
things will definitely turn for the better (:
school has just started recently and well, back to all the lectures and tutorials .
my classmates are just an awesome bunch of people <3
can't tell you how much i adore them (:
they make me laugh and smile every single day.
and i guess that's the reason they only see the positive and jovial me, with me scary laughter :Pi'm still very afraid.
i still don't know if i had made the right decision,
for now i guess i just have to work harder .
i need to make her proud.
so i have to like, hmmmmm, study more regularly and revise more often? -.-"
peeps, motivate me kay :)
i've been feeling rather tired lately.
no matter how much i sleep,
i still feel tired -.-"
sigh, what to do :x
xxx
i don't know why .
i just feel so out of place.
as though i'm just imposing on you guys ):
when things happen ,
i feel doubly bad.
sigh . i don't know what to do.
i wished somehow i had a choice ~
this chapter's done,
the story goes on ):
hmm, i'm sorry readers,
if i still got any.
i've been busy with schoolwork that i
stopped blogging for a long long time.
now is practice exam period,
and prelims are coming soon.
oh gosh ):
i'm like so ill-prepared.
my math still sucks like ever,
but i think i have more confidence in my science
now cause' of midyear and mrs **** incident.
i must push hard,
cannot give up.
my classmates are all studying real hard,
and yes, i have to get "influenced" by them y-know (:
so yup, this MIA period is not on purpose :X
i've missed ass ass practice exam,
( shhhs, that's what some of my classmates call it :p)
because i was sick.
down with bad sore throat and fever the first day.
went to doctor, got loads of medicine.
higher fever, slight cough, sore throat and earache the next day.
fever, and cough-out-my-lungs cough till now ):
but now fever's not so bad.
but lungs painful .
hope i get better soon.
can't sleep.
i've got to go now,
but yeah, before i forget,
all the best to 4EA supernerds for the rest of practice exam! (:haha , though it does not even seem like exam :P
can bring in formula sheet , like so cool for physics.
thought it didn't help if no theory in brain.
keep smiling <3
hey readers (:
I'm finally back after MIA-ing for so long.
oh oh, and O level mother tongue was ____ ? can't find the word to describe it -.-"
whatever it is, i hope i at least get an A2. that will greatly help my L1R5 since my math is horribe ):
mrs thia asked my mum to get me a tutor, ohoh and she spoke to miss neo. my lower sec math teacher. sigh. fact that i'm not good in my math, but i can work harder for my scienc and hopefully i'll see more improvements in the mock exams?
jiayous all 4EA babies aye :D
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mudane day-to-day life.
i wished i could be something different.
i wished i could change the way i could live my life.
sigh ):
it doesn't matter to me, it never did and never will.
need'nt be sad.
i'm just 15,
i'm just a kid.
i don't know what love or life is.
so i should just get on with it.
i miss SF guides and pizzahut ):
been so long since i met my guides or my P.h friends.
stepping down from guides free up alot of my time.
but hiay, i miss those cca times.
but i have to concentrate on my studies now.
get it back on tracks.
do well for my o's.
without this cert, i'll ruin my whole future.
and i won't retake the examinations ;
not if i had a choice.
hang tough , dearest.
i'm sorry for neglecting this blog for so long. actually i shouldn't be posting since it's still officially exam period for me until wednesday. but i've got too many things on my mind and i can't seem to be studying effectively. yes, you're right. look at the time now. i'm burning midnight oil for my chemistry. i'm trying the 10-year series and i hope it helps . i'm needing someone to rant to, but the person i trust ain't available right now, so yeah. i've decided to rant here .
it's mother's day today, and we didn't really do anything special. don't ask me why. hmm, i really don't know what i should do. i have to straighten out my thoughts and really decide what i should do next. i can't afford to make this wrong move.
you know, some of my friends say its nice to be independent. to be able to do everything you want to do without too much parent's intervention. but sometimes, this just isn't the case. but what to do? my mum'm always busy. you know, coming home to an empty house, having to wash and iron my own clothes, buy/cook my own food, tidying up the house before studying may not seem such a hard chore to do. but, when you're in a bad mood, or when stress is piling up because of the exam period, it's really really hard. i'm sorry. i didn't mean to be such a disappointment ):
it's making me so tense that it's my o level year. and i'm really trying to pull my grades up. even though they still aren't good enough or how they used to be ; i'm really happy that at least now i can do the papers that i can't used to do. i'm happy that at least i won't step out of the examination hall deeming an F9 :D i would try harder , yes i would . even if i failed, i swear i would try my best to pull myself up again. however, life seems to be really unfair, i admit that there are times when i can be pretty demanding. but please, tell me, who won't be? i just feel so empty at how things are now. i'm still hoping that they would turn for the better.
i really want to give up now )':
BUT ;
i'm not backing away. i'm gonna hold the stuff i love, dearly. and count on a new beginning, a reason for living and a deeper meaning :D
i shall go back to mugging chemistry now, and oh. i'm addicted to coffee. the hazelnut white coffee is niceeee :D sorry for all these rantings. *thousand apologies. wish me luck for my remaining papers !
God bless .
<3
these are the pictures taken during the 11th elementz conference & exhibition:
that's me with the 2 judges in the background :x
with all 5 teams.
AWJ !
er? -.-
our team (: with mentor mdm lung. plus nianyi and rati from another grp.
me, AWJ and Qi Shan with iphonneee ! (:
hmmm, elementz results is out, and we got..
.....
....
....
....
...
merit award.
quite fun but tiring experience.
up and down to AJC.
sheeesh, loopholes in our investigation :p
hmmm, it's the weekends.
but i'll still have to go to school tomorrow.
sigh, i'm super tired.
i wonder how nice if we can freeze the time,
let time stay where everything seemed perfect.
that moment, which will never be forgotten.
i am but a chapter in yout life- there will be many more.
remember out beautiful memories, but please don't be afraid to make more.
-it makes sense,
but who will really do it?
i'm hoping for _______,
may __________ be__________.
i_______________ (:
*wishwish.
